Before Shoes, Before Fashion, Before Common Sense—There Were Socks
Let’s take a moment to appreciate something truly mind-blowing: People were covering their feet long before they figured out things like hygiene, proper housing, or that eating uncooked meat could kill them.
That’s right—before humans even had pants, they were wrapping their feet in whatever scraps of fabric (or, let’s be real, animal parts) they could find. Because nothing ruins a prehistoric vibe faster than cold toes.
So, where did socks actually come from? When did we, as a species, decide that foot mittens were necessary for survival? Buckle up, because the history of socks is way weirder than you think.
36,000 BCE: The Caveman Foot Wrap Era
Way back when mammoths roamed the Earth and humans had yet to invent the wheel, our ancestors looked down at their exposed, frostbitten toes and thought, “This sucks.”
Thus, the first proto-socks were born—made of animal skins, fur, and whatever scraps of fabric early humans could fashion into foot burritos. Were they stylish? No. But did they keep their toes attached during the Ice Age? Probably.
Honestly, we should be grateful that socks came before footwear fashion trends—otherwise, some prehistoric influencer would’ve convinced everyone that freezing to death was cool.
5000 BCE: The Egyptians Said, “What If Socks, But Sexy?”
Fast-forward a few millennia, and ancient Egyptians decided that basic foot wraps were for peasants. Instead, they crafted knitted socks made from fine materials, often with—wait for it—individual toe pockets.
Yes, toe socks existed 7,000 years ago. And yes, they were still ugly.
Egyptians were also the first people on record to wear socks with sandals. So, if you ever feel self-conscious rocking socks and Birkenstocks, just remember—you’re channeling pharaoh-level energy.
The Romans: Inventing Civilization, Rocking Bad Socks
The Romans, known for their engineering feats, aqueducts, and unhinged political drama, also played a major role in sock history. They called them “udones,” and they were made of wool, leather, or even woven grass.
Which means Roman soldiers—literal gladiator-fighting, empire-building badasses—were out here wearing grass socks in their sandals.
On one hand, we respect the ingenuity. On the other, that sounds itchy as hell.
Medieval Times: The Sock Glow-Up
During the Middle Ages, socks evolved from “things you wrapped around your feet” to status symbols for the rich. Nobles started wearing fancy, embroidered socks made from silk, which was the equivalent of flexing designer brands.
Meanwhile, peasants were still over here tying rags around their feet and hoping for the best. Life wasn’t fair, but at least everyone’s feet were still slightly warmer than before.
1589: The Sock Game Changes Forever
Enter William Lee, an English clergyman who looked at the sock industry and said, “We can do better.”
In 1589, he invented the knitting machine, which revolutionized sock-making and made it faster, cheaper, and less reliant on someone’s grandma sitting by the fire for hours.
Queen Elizabeth I took one look at his invention and, instead of being impressed, refused to grant him a patent. (Because apparently, high-quality socks were a threat to society.)
William Lee died broke, but his knitting machine lived on, leading to mass production and, eventually, the sock drawer disasters we all have today.
The 20th Century: Socks Get Weird
By the 1900s, socks were everywhere—and, for the first time, they had elastic. No more saggy, sad socks falling down into shoes—finally, technology was doing something useful.
Then the sock industry lost its damn mind.
- Argyle madness took over.
- Tube socks became a cultural movement.
- Toe socks made an unfortunate comeback.
- Novelty socks? Now that was peak fashion.
By the 21st century, socks were no longer just a necessity—they were a statement.
And now? You can put your own face on them. We’ve come full circle.
Final Thoughts: The Glorious Evolution of Footwear’s MVP
From prehistoric foot wraps to custom socks with your pet’s face on them, socks have had a wild ride. They’ve gone from being purely functional to iconic, fashionable, and sometimes downright ridiculous.
But one thing remains true: Socks aren’t going anywhere.
So next time you pull on your favorite pair, take a moment to appreciate the thousands of years of innovation, questionable fashion choices, and human perseverance that led to that perfectly snug, cozy fit.
And maybe—just maybe—pour one out for William Lee, the sock godfather who never got his flowers.
